Can You Heal After Childhood Sexual Abuse - Part 2
There are those who choose to keep their memories buried. This is not on a conscious level, or obviously they would be aware of their abuse. But is this better for them?
Whilst there may be some who think it is, you need to consider what is happening in the victims mind. On one hand their mind wants them to forget, on the other their mind wants them to remember.
We all forget things, but certain things during the day trigger our memories, whether they be smells, something we see, something we hear, something we read, experiences we go through. It is the same with someone who has been sexually abused as a child.
Little things will constantly be trying to awaken the memory within them. You can imagine the effect that this can have on a person, the constant pushing and shoving, can cause serious health effects. This is why as a person gets older memories will start to emerge, the more stresses and pressures they face.
They will also have a niggling feeling that something isn't right, that they are forgetting something they should be remembering.
Once these memories emerge, they can start their healing process.
To understand this, think about when something is troubling you, perhaps someone has done or said something that has hurt you deeply. Do you feel better by constantly squashing it down? Usually it trys to emerge as it constantly niggles and upsets you. If you tell your friend or someone else, it helps. The more you talk about it, the easier it becomes, and it gets to the point where the experience loses its power over you.
The same is true of child abuse trauma, the longer it stays there, the more damage it can do to your mental and physical health.
Getting Help
The unfortunate thing is though that whilst these memories are emerging, the victim may relive everything they experienced. The effects of this will be overwhelming to the point of unbearable. Anyone dealing with this needs the help of someone loving and caring, they can't do it on their own. This can be a trusted friend, a marriage mate or partner, someone they can talk to. It may become too traumatic to deal with and outside help may be urgently needed, a doctor or therapist.
When the depression comes it can come in such force that the victim needs to be medicated, however this is not generally the case. A doctor may though offer something that can help one deal with the effects that recalling the molestation has caused.
Once these memories emerge, the hatred and rage they feel for the person who abused them, can be so strong they may want to do physical violence to them. However if it was their father or mother, than the emotions the abused person experiences will be different.
They may feel rage, but at the same time they loved and still do love their parent. So their mind is having a hard time trying to sort this out. Someone they trusted, loved, cared for betrayed them. The victim may have had a good relationship with their parent whilst the memories were buried, now they are thrown into confusion.
They can not deal with this on their own, for their mental health they need help, and if this help needs to come from a reputable therapist than that is what the abuse victim needs to do. They will more than likely feel the need to cry constantly, even when it appears they are not thinking about their problem. This is a normal reaction to what they are going through.
Relationship Problems
Any relationships especially with their marriage mate or partner may also go through a hard time as they come to grips with their memories. Flashbacks may cause problems with their sex life, and they may have trouble with intimacy and affection.
At the same time they will feel a sense of relief, as a victim can now deal with the problem and eventually heal.
Not all abuse victims suffer in the same way. For some in order to heal from the effects of childhood sexual abuse, acknowledging the abuse is all that is needed. It is not necessary to remember all the details in order to recover. It will be a hard and difficult road ahead and it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. Part 3 will show you ways to begin Recovery.