Overcoming Guilt After Child Molestation
Guilt is one of the insidious emotions that comes with child molestation, and is difficult to overcome. Unless addressed, it has long term effects that wreck havoc on your life and on your relationships.
Understanding WHY, you as a molestation victim, feel an over whelming emotion of guilt is imperative in order to recover.
As a child you were sworn to secrecy, either my coercion, bribes, or manipulation by your abuser. You were made to feel like you were 'in this together'. You did not have the support you needed to stop this abuse and therefore you had no one you could trust.
As you have grown up into adulthood and your molestation has come out into the open, you more than likely have not had the support from family and friends that you needed.
No Backup Support
In many instances of child sexual abuse, once the abuse is out in the open, the victim is abandoned, and in many cases blamed if not for the abuse itself, them for not keeping quiet about it. Many victims are accused of disrupting their family's life when they expose the abuser and their crime.
Even if they did not openly blame you, why did they not support you when you needed it the most?
If you were a child of sexual abuse, and had been able to speak freely about your experience, supported, loved and nurtured, you would not feel the guilt you now feel. If you had been given the help you needed for recovery, you would not now have the long term effects of molestation that you now have. Guilt is one of those effects.
Too many times the view is, it happened a long time ago, do not worry about it, do not bring it up now, keep quiet, do not cause trouble, do not embarrass the family.
Supposed friends may also have this view, suggesting you get on with your life and forget about it. Unfortunately child molestation, is not something that you can forget, as the physiological effects are insidious.
Your Only Conclusion
With this outlook, the only conclusion your mind will and has reached is that it is your fault. However it is not your fault, it is their fault. As a child you could not control the situation. They selfishly made their decisions, not thinking about the way you would be effected.
Because the adults in your life blamed you, whether by action or words, and you were the child used to following their authority, you automatically acquiesced to their beliefs and assumed it was your fault.
Do not underestimate the impact of those whose support was lacking. Even if they seemed to support you, many times that support was conditional on your behavior. Since that was the case, obviously you were at least partly to blame. At least that is the inference that your subconscious mind will make.
You need to face the fact that it was not your fault but theirs. Your abuser, for molesting you, and those who did not support you. Once you do this you will be able to overcome your guilt.