How Can You Deal With Childhood Molestation Whilst In a Relationship
Disambiguation question: How to cope if your relationship partner is a child molester
This is a question we get asked most often, in a variety of different ways. Sometimes it is very difficult to interpret exactly what is being asked, hence the disambiguation question.
Unfortunately there is no easy answer. We also take from this question that you were molested as a child and are now having difficulties dealing with its effects, whilst in a relationship.
When you first meet someone and enter a relationship, you think all is well. It doesn't take long for the effects of sexual abuse to start showing. This is due in part to the intimacy that is shared, which triggers some nasty memories, which also brings flashbacks along with it.
Trust is also another issue which rears its ugly head when least wanted. You may feel your partner is cheating on you, flirting with others, or being more familiar with them than you would like. Or perhaps they are innocent of any of this, but your mind refuses to believe it. This causes you to do irrational things, which you may not even realize.
Talking to someone about your abuse, the effects and feelings you are going through, is going to help you a great deal. Your partner needs to know what is going on, or it will be a quick road to more problems.
Let them know you were abused as a child, it will not be easy for them to hear, but a kind and understanding partner will be able to handle this knowledge.
(If you think they won't handle it, click here first.)
It will also help them understand why you are having problems with your relationship. They then can understand that it is not them that is causing the problem, but what you have been through, which will in itself be a relief to them.
Sex, trust, affection are areas that can cause difficulties for many who have been sexually abused as a child. Help is needed for recovery, for without it you and your partner will have a hard time dealing with the long term effects of molestation.